A new "lawn" rifle

I haven't played croquet, badminton or the fast-paced game of lawn darts in years. Where the yard here at the farm slopes down to the banks of Elm Branch, I have, however, indulged in the decadent sport of lawn riflery.

Steyr Mannlicher US sent out an e-mail announcing the Steyr AUG/A3. The company refers to it as a "sporting" rifle. Because I don't assault anything with a semi-automatic rifle except rodents and other varmints, I refuse to use that verb as a modifier before "rifle". Around here, any black rifle or carbine considered by gun haters to be inherently evil in itself are called something else.

The rifles I use for dispatching pests, hunting, defending my loved ones, safeguarding our home and enjoy shooting and reloading for are called lawn rifles. Lawn riflery, one of liberty's many blessings, is indeed the true sport of Kings--and Queens, of course.

My son will take an expensive trip to the oral surgeon Friday. I don't have the dollars for a Steyr AUG/A3 even if they are truly in stores now as Steyr's message indicates. Prez Obama and Congress will not fund a cash-for-clunkers rebate for prospective gun owners any time soon. Since the battle for health care reform has stalled, those nice men and women from the federal government won't pay for oral surgery, either. Damn the bad luck!